The Only Exception
by Sweedledome
Summary: "It was better this way. Beca had rules and Chloe was dangerously close to breaking the most important one. Not that she exactly adhered to the other ones anyway." One shot inspired by Paramore's 'The Only Exception' and 'Good To You' by Marianas Trench.


_**This was originally part of my one shot series entitled 'If Music Be The Food Of Love' but I decided to put it up on its own due to its length. **_

_**This was requested by sophiekrop12 who asked for one based on 'The Only Exception' by Paramore. I also used 'Good To You' by Marianas Trench for inspiration.**_

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><p><span>The Only Exception<span>

When Beca was seven, her parents had taken her on a trip to nearby horse sanctuary. While she was there, one of the horses reared up and broke through wooden fencing surrounding their field. The splintering wood had punctured the horse's side and the horse became so panicked that it managed to entangle it's hooves in the wire mesh of the fence.

Once it had realised it was trapped with no way of removing the large object currently ripping into it's side, the horse let out a sound little Beca would never forget. A sound of sheer desperation and agony, of fear and hopelessness. A tortured cry for help that came from deep inside the soul and sounded so wrong wrenching its way through the still air to Beca's ears. Years later, when she had just turned thirteen, Beca heard the sound again.

There was lots of yelling in the household at that time. The hushed whisper arguments had been going on for a year or two at this point. Her parents thought Beca didn't notice but she caught the passive aggressive comments traded over breakfast the morning after she'd listened to the sound of her parents quietly sniping at each other the evening before. Lately though, they didn't seem to be able to contain their spats. Even minute things, such as the time Warren thought Michelle had bought too much salad, seemed to turn into a full blown yelling match.

It didn't help that Beca seemed to have overnight turned into a surly teenager who grew to resent her parents and their inability to get along daily. Phrases such as "I'm not a child!" and "I'm old enough to make my own decisions" became regular favourites of Beca. It annoyed her the way her parents tried to hide their unhappiness. That was why, when Michelle tried to send Beca to bed so she and Warren could argue, Beca normally put up one hell of a fight. Trying to get them to see that they couldn't just send her away anytime they wanted to. That she knew what was happening and putting her to bed in a room with very thin walls wasn't going to stop her hearing anything.

Really, she should have known something was different about that night from the start. When Beca's mum ordered her to bed, as per usual, Beca didn't put up a fight. She was fully ready to, a new list of reasons why she shouldn't have to freshly prepared just for this occasion. She never got to use them though. There was a warning in her mother's voice, something in the tone that let Beca know that tonight, she should be doing exactly what her mother told her to.

In the past, Beca's bed time marching orders had come out exactly as that, an order. Tonight, it came out in a whisper with a desperate 'please' that Beca couldn't refuse. She went straight upstairs to her room and felt a sense of dread creep over her at the way her mother had appeared just a second from tears.

There wasn't the usual steady stream of yelling that Beca had grown accustomed to, at times there were raised voices but other times it sounded as though the conversation was almost civil. Beca began to let a sliver of hope creep back into her heart that maybe, just maybe, her parents were working things out. Then came angry steps, the sound of a door slam. Beca rushed to the window in time to see her father storm away from the house, he didn't get far before he dropped to his knees at the edge of their drive.

Then he let out a horrible sound that Beca remembered from when she was seven. A suffering howl of pure anguish. The cry of a broken man.

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><p>Beca barely recognised her parents in the weeks that followed. She had grown up with them, quite simply put, loving each other. They were a happy family, a unit. Once the word 'divorce' came into play though, Beca felt her whole world shatter. Her parents weren't a team anymore. They became so vicious in each other's presence that Beca came to hate the five minutes of interaction they had when the time came to swap Beca over for the week. Wrapped up in their own hatred of each other, they forgot about Beca for a while.<p>

Once, when Michelle was yelling at Warren for dropping Beca off late (failing to actually greet her own daughter in favour of trading insults with her ex-husband), Beca found a picture of her parents on their wedding day in an unpacked box. They couldn't contain their smiles and they looked at each other with adoration. Beca's mum had once (a long time ago) explained to her daughter that they looked this way because they were in love.

Looking at her parents now, seeing the spite with which they spoke to each other, Beca concluded that love was a pointless emotion. It ruined people. How could it not when two people who claimed to be in it were now so twisted by hatred and petty revenge that they couldn't even be in the same room as each other? No, love was a temporary sentiment that would ultimately annihilate any trace of happiness and consume all the good things about a person in its wake.

As the divorce was finalised and her parents were able to gain some distance from each other, things got better. They remembered that their daughter was actually a person, not something to fight over like she was a possession. Beca enjoyed having her parents back, being noticed again. She watched as her father slowly put himself together again but always spotted the slight glimpse of hurt in his eyes when he and Michelle were forced to spend more than twenty minutes together.

Her mother seemed to have given up dating all together, claiming it was better to not ever have to go through that hurt again. Both of them tried to repair the damage when they noticed Beca's unfaltering cynicism in love and relationships, but it was too late. The damage had been done.

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><p>Beca's mind was foggy with remnants of sleep still clinging to it, she 99% certain she would still be asleep but for the tiny patch of sunlight falling directly on her face that would not be ignored. Beca yawned lightly, checking her watch she saw that it was barely six, far too early to be getting up after a night with the Bellas. There was a slight complication with going back to sleep though.<p>

Chloe's arms were still wrapped around her from the night before…not that there was really an option for them to be anywhere else. They'd somehow managed to squish themselves onto the world's tiniest sofa and right now the only thing keeping Beca from falling off was Chloe's firm grip around her midriff.

Beca sighed. Once again they'd found themselves in a precarious position. A position where the lines between friends and something more had become blurred. There had been a sort of unspoken agreement after last time that they were going to remain friends…well, not really, but there was certainly a line in the sand that had been drawn and, for the thousandth time, they were very close to crossing it.

Realising where the conversation would inevitably end up if she stayed here long enough for Chloe to wake up, Beca delicately extricated herself and carefully navigated the piles of passed out Bellas. Managing not to tread on any hands or sprawling limbs, Beca gave herself a mental congratulatory pat as she cast a final glance around the room to check all Bellas were currently still unconscious. All but one were.

No words were needed as Beca registered the sadness on Chloe's face. She was half raised off the sofa, eyes silently imploring Beca to not leave…again. Perhaps Beca had not been as subtle as she thought removing herself from Chloe's arms. She had hoped to avoid a reminder of how much she was hurting Chloe by leaving early, but as she softly clicked the door close behind her, Beca could still feel those eyes burning into her back.

She paused outside and leaned back against the door, attempting to collect herself. It was better this way. Beca had rules and Chloe was dangerously close to breaking the most important one. Not that she exactly adhered to the other ones anyway.

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><p><em><strong>Rule #8 – No touching of the headphones.<strong>_

_Almost…almost there…just got to raise the bass there aaaaaaaand…_

_Suddenly, hands harshly yanked the headphones__ from her ears, bring her crashing back to reality and destroying the moment of music she was on the verge of finding. Furious blue eyes locked harshly onto amused brown ones._

"_DUDE?!"_

"_What's up Becaw?!" Jesse greeted cheerily, entertained by Beca's pissed off expression. He hadn't yet clocked that this was different from Beca's usual annoyance with a hint of reluctant cheer._

"_Jesse! What in the actual fuck do you think you are doing?!"_

"_I know you're going to spend all day in front of that computer on your lonesome unless I come rescue you so get your butt up, we're going to go the cinema, my treat." He gave her a jovial wink, knowing that she was going to protest but eventually let herself be bullied into it. _

_He hadn't reckoned on that stare though. Her eyes had taken on an icy quality, a solid steel wall that caused his grin to fade. For the first time since entering the room, he considered the possibility that he was doing something wrong. _

"_Give them back. Now." Jesse's hands reached out instantly, bringing the headphones back within reach of the DJ's grasp. Beca wasted no time in re-securing them around her neck. The tension in her body eased somewhat but Jesse could still see that barely repressed fury simmering in her eyes. _

_He gulped. "Jesse, let's get one thing clear right now. If my headphones are on, you do not speak to me, you do not contact me, you do not try to get my attention and, above all YOU DO __**NOT**__ TOUCH MY FUCKING HEADPHONES." Jesse winced as the wrath of Beca's tone hit him full force. He had never seen her so riled up before._

"_Becaw…"_

"_Are we clear?"_

"_But Chloe always…"_

"_I ASKED IF WE ARE FUCKING CLEAR?!"_

"…_yes."_

"_Good. Now get out of my sight and you better have a doughnut the size of my face for me the next time I see you, which isn't going to be anytime today. Got it?"_

"_Yeah, sorry Beca…"_

"_Get out."_

_An hour later, Beca stayed silent as Chloe entered the room and gently slipped headphones from around Beca's neck to place them over her own ears. She merely smiled as Chloe gestured impatiently for Beca to show her something new._

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><p>That was different though. Chloe somehow instinctively knew when Beca was getting somewhere with a mix and understood when not to touch. Plus there was the fact that she always treated Beca's headphones like they were sacred which, to Beca, they were. That was why Beca let her bend the rules a bit on that one.<p>

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><p><em><strong>Rule #17 – Taco Bell is only to be eaten after midnight<strong>_

"_Ummm…so…how about this weather huh?" Beca internally cringed at her awkward attempt at a conversation starter. Right now she could really do with some of that fantastic Beale charm that always seemed to spark conversation at exactly the right moment. Unfortunately, Chloe didn't seem to be willing to help Beca this time, she was too busy trying to see if she could set Monica's head on fire with her glare._

"_Very sunny." Monica nodded from her position next to Beca, she was trying and chorus of agreeing noises from the other Bellas suggested they weren't completely adverse to the idea of getting to know Beca's new girlfriend…well, all except one of course. Chloe was still eyeing the increasingly unnerved Monica with undisguised hostility. An awkward silence descended as it had many times previously despite the continued attempts at dialogue from both parties. _

"_We could go get some food?" Beca suggested. Monica's eyes brightened as she spotted an opportunity to talk about something._

"_Oooh, what about Taco Bell? I love that place." _

"_Out of luck there blondie, short stack here only goes to Taco Bell after midnight." Amy chuckled._

"_Really? You never told me that…"_

"_Didn't seem important." Beca shrugged._

"_Well if it's not important then we can go right?"_

"…_that's not what I meant."_

"_Please babe? I'm really craving it."_

"_Mon, it's a thing of mine. I just…I really don't want to okay?" Beca said slowly, trying to get Monica to understand that this __**was**__ important. It may be a minor rule for her yet she still didn't want to break it on a whim. Beca made things into rules for a reason. Monica had already casually ignored several things Beca had mentioned were important to her so far but Beca had let it slide because she was hoping to at least have one relationship that would last more than a month._

"_Sure you can't do it just the once? For me?" Monica tried to do some sort of weird doe eyed thing that had exactly the opposite effect it intended. Only Chloe's pleading eyes held any sort of sway over Beca. The tension in the room was palpable as the Bellas recognised the warning signs of Beca's increasing irritation that Monica still seemed oblivious to._

"_Come on Mon, I think we need to go talk." Beca frowned as she led a confused Monica away. She didn't fail to notice that Chloe appeared to have a satisfied smile on her face for the first time since Beca had suggested introducing her new girlfriend to the group._

_Less than a week later she was smiling again when Beca turned up to her flat with Taco Bell._

"_You do realise it's only eight right?"_

"_Yeah but you're ill and you had a shitty day and I knew this would make you feel better…no way are you telling anyone about this though."_

"_Of course not." Chloe winked._

"_I mean it Chlo, this stays between us, otherwise everyone will want pre-midnight Taco Bell and I can't deal with that."_

"_Okay okay, I promise. Now come cuddle." Beca put up a pretty feeble fight before allowing Chloe to drag her down onto the bed for cuddling and a movie…that was another two rules out the window…damn._

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><p>That wasn't even Chloe breaking that one. Beca had decided to break that rule hadn't she? Yeah, she broke it <em>for<em> Chloe but it's not like Chloe asked her to do that. Beca just knew it would make Chloe happy so she did it…fuck she was in trouble.

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><p><em><strong>Rule #3 – Relationships are to remain casual and emotionally distant<strong>_

"_So how's Tina?" CR asked from the other end of the sofa, making idle conversation as the two absent mindedly killed some time with Mario Kart._

"_Huh? Oh, we broke up."_

"_Aaaaand another one bites the dust."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Beca asked, pausing the game so she could look at CR._

"_Oh come on Little Bit, when's the last time you had a relationship that lasted longer than a month?"_

"_There was…I'm pretty sure there was that one…ugh, fine. I haven't, okay?"_

"_You pick the worst people to go out with. You really do."_

"_I know."_

"_You go out with girls who are so completely wrong for you in every way and then you end up breaking up with them almost immediately because, surprise surprise, they start to irritate you so much you can't stand to be with them a second longer."_

"_I know."_

"…_why do I suddenly get the feeling you actually plan it that way?"_

"_Because I do."_

"_Relationships aren't supposed to work that way Little Bit, you're supposed to actually care about the person. You know, want to be with them and all that jazz?"_

"_Yeah but if you care about the person then you end up wanting to share things with that person then you get all attached and shit, then you fall in love."_

"…_yeah, pretty much. What's the problem with that?"_

"_True love is a myth. Love only ever ends up causing you pain and misery ultimately. If I always go out with people who I can never form an emotional connection with, I won't end up miserably heartbroken. It's a self-preservation thing."_

"_You know…there is someone you've already got a pretty strong emotional connection with…" CR began hesitantly, knowing she was entering dangerous territory. "Someone who'd go out with you in a heartbeat if you asked…"_

"_Leave it Cynthia Rose."_

"_But Chl-"_

"_Leave. It."_

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><p>Yup, definitely in trouble. They weren't even in a relationship, Beca had made sure of that. Chloe made it clear that she was interested but Beca couldn't go there, not when she knew that rule #3 would be broken the second she and Chloe got together because there was no way Beca could remain emotionally distant with Chloe Beale. It wasn't possible. Not when Chloe was so good at being everything Beca wanted, everything Beca <em>needed<em>.

Rule #1 wouldn't last long. Beca's rules never did around Chloe it seemed. So she turned her down, said they were better off as friends and allowed the unspoken feelings to cut into her every time Chloe gave her one of _those _looks. But, of course, with more repressed feelings than an episode of a cheesy soap and a hefty amount of booze, there were bound to be a few times Beca faltered.

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><p><em><strong>Rule #7 – No drunken discussion of feelings. Too messy.<strong>_

_Beca groaned as Chloe shoved her back into the wall and reattached their mouths. Her hands clutched at Chloe's hips and dragged her closer until their bodies were flush against one another. Chloe tasted like vodka and something fruity but Beca didn't care, months of silently wanting and subtly pushing Chloe away were being unleashed right now. It wasn't until she felt Chloe's hands travel down to start undoing her jeans that she came to her senses._

"_Wait…wait, Chloe, hold on a sec…" Beca turned her head away but Chloe began trailing kisses down her neck and Beca let out an involuntary moan as the red head sucked on her pulse point. Beca grabbed Chloe's hands just before they reached the point of no return and stilled them in their tracks. "Chlo…just stop."_

"_Why?!"_

"_We're drunk and-"_

"_Bullshit! You want this, I know you do." Chloe argued, cupping Beca's face and trying to bring their lips back together. Beca turned her head at the last minute, leaving Chloe to kiss her cheek instead. _

"_Chloe. No." Beca looked firmly into Chloe's eyes as she said this._

"_Why?"_

"_We're going round in circles. I'm leaving."_

"_No."_

"_Bu-"_

"_NO, Beca, because you still haven't told me why! Becs, we hang out all the time, we make great friends and we could be so much more but you always push me away and I never know why! Instead I have to watch you parade these girls who don't get you and don't understand you right in front of my face. Every single damn time it kills me because I see them irritating you or not understanding you or trying to change you and I __**know**__ I can do better. I know we would be so amazing together yet somehow, they're always the ones that seem to get to have you, so tell me what I'm doing wrong? Why are you so willing to fall into bed with them but not me huh? Whenever we get drunk you're always willing to make out with me but the second I try and go further, you shut me down. Am I that repellent to you?"_

"_God no, you're perfect Chlo."_

"_Then what is it?!" Beca stayed silent, unable to meet Chloe's gaze as a tonne of unspoken feelings came pouring out from the red head. "You can't answer me can you? You always say we're better off as friends or that we shouldn't go there but you can never tell me __**why**__ and I'm starting to get sick of it Beca. It's not fair of you to bring me Taco Bell and make me mixes and cancel other plans to hang out with me and then tell me we're friends. It's not __**fair**__ to treat me like I'm something more then turn me away." They were still stood pressed tightly together against the wall but it wasn't their proximity making Beca feel claustrophobic…all these questions, all these questions had a simple answer. One simple answer. _

_As much as Beca could feel Chloe's words slowly ripping into her heart, she couldn't give Chloe that answer. It would mean admitting something to herself that she promised she never would. That was why she was now stuck, stuck silently staring into Chloe's eyes. Those eyes that never hid the slightest emotion, something Beca had always loved but now find stifling as she saw the unwavering compassion, the longing present there._

_Chloe's hand fell away, allowing Beca to turn her head away from that look. Instead of pulling away, as Beca expected, Chloe remained there, lightly dropping her head so her forehead remained delicately pressed against Beca's cheek. Beca realised this was supposed to be the moment where she pulled away, made her excuses and went downstairs to rejoin the party…but she could feel Chloe's warm breath on her neck and her warm arms around her waist, leaving didn't seem attractive right now. _

_They stood like that in silence for a while, simply holding one another before Chloe's hoarse voice gently made its way to Beca's ears once more. "I could be so good to you Becs, __**so**__ good…but you don't let me. Why won't you let me love you?"_

_Beca struggled to hold back the tears that were gathering in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself incapable of talking due to the lump in her throat. The slight dampness she could feel on her shirt from where Chloe was mutely crying did not help. Eventually Beca was able to croak out a quiet "I think I should go." Chloe chuckled bitterly at that._

"_Of course you do." Lifting her head to wipe away the tears that Beca knew she had caused, Chloe left the room in silence. Beca was left with only her thoughts and the distant thump of loud music from another room for company._

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><p>That had been a disastrous rule break. The whole point of that rule was to avoid heart ache and that was damn sure what Beca had to deal with afterward. The next morning Chloe joked with Beca like normal in front of all the Bellas but there was a notable difference. No more invading hugs, no more texting her with inane little comments about her day, no more surprise late night radio station visits.<p>

Chloe was still kind and didn't avoid her at Bellas practice but there was none of the usual things that made Chloe so _Chloe_. It hurt. It really did. The first real contact they'd had was last night when CR invited them over for a poker night. Since admitting her gambling addiction, the Bellas were slowly helping her wean herself off her addiction by allowing her to gamble but only when they were present and never for real money so she could slowly curb that addictive rush she got from the cards.

These nights were the nights that really brought the Bellas close, not only because they got to all hang out together and be sociable but because, though it was never said out loud, they knew they were helping out a friend just by being there. So, naturally, Beca and Chloe were both in attendance. The night passed without any major incident until the game slowly dwindled, the Bellas having folded or been caught out one by one.

Then there was just Chloe and Beca left. Now Beca did not have a good hand, she hadn't really had a good hand all game. She was the master of bluffing though, turning her face into an unreadable wall devoid of any emotion, only allowing some sort of 'tell' to slip through when she wanted to throw a person off the truth. She'd made it through the entire game without once relying on her cards, she relied only on herself. Now all she had to do to win this thing was fool Chloe into folding. It shouldn't be too hard, she pushed all her chips into the centre of the table then gave Chloe a challengingly raised eyebrow here, the slight hint of a smirk there. She carefully laced her face with just the right amount of confidence to trick Chloe into believing tha-

"All in." Chloe smiled, pushing all her chips in too.

"Alright ladies, cards on the table." Aubrey called. Beca watched in numb shock as the cards were flipped and Chloe's clearly superior hand trumped hers.

"Damn Little Bit, Red owned your arse." CR whistled in admiration as Chloe gathered her chips.

"How did you know she was bluffing? I haven't been able to figure out her tell all game." Jessica huffed frustratedly.

"I can always read Beca." Chloe shrugged. Beca's head snapped up. Funny how the smallest of sentences can leave you pondering their meaning with no room for other cognitive faculty. Perhaps that was why, when the Bellas decided to call it a night and find something to collapse on, a tipsy Beca found herself stumbling towards the sofa where Chloe had settled herself. She paused, looking for some sort of acknowledgement from the red head. Chloe gave a quick nod and allowed Beca to wriggle in on the sofa next to her.

Which is how Beca found herself here the next morning, standing stock still outside the door she had just closed. The door with Chloe on the other side of it, probably still staring after Beca and wondering where she'd gone wrong this time. The thought ate away at Beca so much she thought she would throw up.

_**Rule #1 – Love is a sick, twisted, bitter thing. Never succumb to it. Ever.**_

Who was she even trying to kid? Rule #1 had crumbled a long time ago. Somewhere between blue puppy dog eyes asking Beca to turn her dream into a reality and those same eyes trying not to flick down as their owner barged in on Beca's shower. Beca never stood a chance against Chloe and really she should never have gone to auditions. She had though. The pull was simply too strong. And now she was here. Stood outside CR's apartment and trying to find the courage to do something. To leave or to stay…because it wasn't just herself she was torturing now, it was Chloe too.

Her indecision was causing Chloe pain and Beca knew that this was a pivotal moment. She could begin distancing herself from Chloe today and slowly begin chipping away at the bond they had formed together…or she could head back inside. Ignore everything she had ever learnt about love and allow her heart a break for once. She could curl up on the sofa with Chloe and they could wake up together…Beca sighed heavily and walked away from the closed door.

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><p>Chloe sat hugging her knees on the sofa, only the gentle, regular rhythm of Amy's snores disturbing the quiet of the flat. It had been half an hour since Beca left. It wasn't the first time Chloe had woken up alone after she had thought that Beca was finally willing to give them a try. Hadn't stop hurting yet though. Each time she felt she had come so close to that thing she wanted so desperately, then it was snatched away once more and Chloe was forced to fake a smile whenever she watched Beca act like nothing was wrong.<p>

All her life Chloe had been good at getting what she wanted. Her parents had taken the time to instil in Chloe the idea that she could get anything she wanted…as long as she worked for it. She could have that new toy she wanted if she kept her room tidy, she could go out with her friends that evening if she completed all her homework first, they would get her a car if she got a job to cover any breakdown, fuel and insurance costs that came with it.

That attitude served her well in life. She always got what she wanted because she worked for it, her good grades, her singing ability, her internship at a major business corporation that traditionally didn't allow anyone to work for them, even in a voluntary capacity, before graduation. Chloe Beale _got_ what she wanted.

Then she found Beca. Chloe didn't think it was possible to want anything so badly in her life. Sometimes she swore it actually physically pained her to be without the brunette. So she worked at it. She worked at it and she worked at it and she worked at it again. Yet here she was, sat on the sofa, alone. It wasn't even like trying to get Beca's attention could be described as 'working at it', being around Beca was always a good thing for Chloe. It was little things, paying attention to Beca so Chloe could figure her out (not that paying attention to Beca was any great inconvenience to Chloe, it happened whether Chloe was trying or not).

She was quickly able to deduce certain things Beca did not allow to happen, they seemed to guard her from anyone getting too close. So Chloe found a way to get past them, by respecting the important bits. Chloe knew Beca never allowed anyone to touch her headphones, but by watching she was able to deduce that she didn't want anyone to touch her headphones _while she was mixing_ and she didn't want anyone to damage them. So Chloe never touched while Beca was mixing and always made sure to be careful with the headphones… Beca had yet to tell Chloe to back off from her headphones.

Chloe thought that had meant something, there had been lots of times where she thought something had meant something actually. Not that it mattered anymore. It was obvious Beca had made her decision, and it wasn't Chloe. As soon as that thought came sailing through Chloe's head, all she could think was 'ouch'.

Chloe was brought out of pondering if it was possible to actually get physically sick from heartache by a tap at the door. It was so quiet Chloe figured it was her imagination so she ignored it…but there it was again. Curiously, Chloe got up and made her way to the door, performing an interesting hop, skip, jump routine to avoid the Bellas who seemed to have made it their mission to sleep across the path to the door.

Whatever Chloe had been expecting, it most certainly was not a 5' 2" brunette holding two takeaway coffee shop cups.

"Hey." Beca said quietly. Chloe manoeuvred out of the door into the hallway and closed the door so as not to wake the other Bellas. Then there was silence while Chloe stared. "Umm…so the thing is…um…ugh, why am I so shit at this? Okay, let's start with something simple. Here, I got you this."

Beca extended one of the cups. Chloe looked at it like Beca had just presented her with some sort of nuclear explosive. "…are you going to take it?"

Chloe stared at the cup.

"It's tea."

Chloe stared at the cup.

"I know you like tea."

Chloe stared at the cup.

"You said coffee has no place in your mouth unless it's in the form of tiramisu remember?"

Chloe stared at the cup.

"Okay, um, well…maybe I was wrong. Do you like coffee now?"

Chloe stared at Beca.

"Because I can totally go get you some coffee if you wa-"

"You came back."

"Um…yeah…I did."

"You never come back."

"Well…I did this time."

"Why?"

"Can you take this? We're about to get into some stuff here and I feel kind of weird standing here with two drinks." Chloe acquiesced and gently took the cup.

"So…why did you come back?" Chloe asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Because I love you." Not used to Beca being exactly forthcoming on the emotional front, Chloe had assumed that these particular words would take a lot longer to appear than they did. So, naturally, she spat her tea out in surprise…all over Beca. "Ugh, that was so not what I planned to happen there." Beca grumbled, patting at the drops all over her clothes. Chloe composed herself after a moment.

"You realise that's pretty big? You can't just announce something like that after months of being closed off and not expect me to be shocked."

"I'm sorry, I know it wasn't really tactful but I had to say it before I lost my nerve. It's been a long time coming though, I assure you."

"How long?" Chloe asked suspiciously.

"I think the moment I came back from jail and you guys were all there and you said 'of course we waited up for you', like it wasn't even a question that you were gonna be there. I've never had somebody care about me like that before. That's when I realised anyway, I think I already did a while before that…"

"So why did you keep saying we should be friends, then go out with the first random girl you could get your hands on?"

"Because they weren't you." Beca shrugged. Chloe sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

"Beca, can we not do the whole cryptic thing? It's half six in the morning and I think we both know this is a very important conversation so can you stop making me drag answers out of you? I think if you came back here it's because you wanted to tell me something, I want you to _want_ to tell me something, not have me ask and prise an answer out of you. I want to hear what _you_ have to say to me." Beca nodded.

"Alright, fair enough…where do I start?"

"That's up to you."

"A little help please?"

"Nope." Chloe smiled smugly at Beca's helpless expression. She was so darn cute with that look on her-no, dammit Chloe, focus.

"Oh come on, just get me started? Please?"

"Fine, why have you been pushing me away if you've supposedly been in love with me for almost a year, if not possibly longer?"

"Okay, good starting point…I'm going to need you to stay quiet for a bit while I get this all out, okay?" Beca asked nervously.

"Sure."

"I've never really seen love as a good thing…I know this is going to sound incredibly Grinch like but I actually kind of hate love." Chloe opened her mouth to protest but Beca cut her off. "It's not that I ever didn't believe love exists, I just didn't believe in true love. You know, the kind that lasts? My parents were in love…once, and when they fell out of it…it was horrible. I watched my family get torn apart by the two people who were supposed to hold it together. The thing that got me most about it all was that they really did love each other, for many years…but that feeling didn't last and it hurt them that they couldn't get it back. It's dangerous to care about someone so much, they can wreck you in ways you never thought possible because they're supposed to be your rock, and that's exactly what my parents did. They took the trust they had in one another and they used it to kill any semblance of humanity between them. When I saw how they behaved, I made a promise. A promise to never get involved with love. I didn't ever want to have someone cause me pain that way and, more than that…I didn't want to become the kind of person that caused pain that way, especially not to someone I claimed to be in love with."

"But Beca-"

"Hold on Chlo, I'm not done yet. Anyway, I kept that promise for so long because it was easy to. All my relationships were easy to keep comfortable and relaxed because I never really cared about the people I was with. They were fun to hang around with and I enjoyed having someone there from time to time but it was always so easy to break things off whenever anyone asked for something more serious because I never really felt anything real for them in the first place. Then you happened. You just sort of…burst into my life and I _felt_ things. You have to understand Chlo, by this point I was pretty sure I was emotionally retarded because I'd never even been close to falling in love with someone. As soon as I recognised what was happening, I _had_ to keep you at arm's length. I already knew that I cared about you way more than I should and that we couldn't be together without me breaking that promise to myself. So I went out with all these girls because all of the were _so_ not you and that meant I was never in danger of falling for them…not that I think I could have anyway with you around. I couldn't stop myself sometimes though, I just…I _wanted_ you, so badly, you have no idea."

"I think I have some idea." Chloe commented wryly.

"…okay, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Look, Chloe…I have tried so hard not to want you, not to care about you, not to love you…but it doesn't work. _I_ don't work…not without you. This is me putting myself out there for something serious. It's important to me that you understand that. I'm willing to break the rule by which I've lived by for all of my adult life for you because I honestly can't imagine anything hurting as bad as it does watching your face when I leave. So…I'm in this for the long haul and if you want me then I'm right here but you should only go for it if you're in this for the long haul too. I promise I will always try and treat you right, I'm probably going to need a lot of help in places because I'm not so good at the picking up on stuff but…I think I could be good to you too Chloe."

Beca allowed herself to admire the way Chloe's eyes seemed to be an infinite number of blue shades all beautifully layered together to make a window into Chloe's current emotional state. She was pretty sure someone was playing a guitar solo in her heart as she waited for Chloe's response.

"Beca, I've never been in love. Not until I met you. The second I recognised what I was feeling for you I knew this was something I wanted to be permanently. Whenever I was with someone else I felt like something was missing, like I was waiting for something extraordinary that wasn't happening. It was you. I think I've been waiting for you my entire life Beca…of course then you made me wait a whole bunch more, git, so if you think, for one second, that I'm going to let you go again, you've got another thing coming."

"Noted." Jesse had suggested to Beca a sunset rooftop confession to really make it memorable and special, but as Chloe grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her forward for their first non-alcohol fuelled kiss, Beca knew it couldn't get any more special or memorable than this.

Because it's not about the surroundings or the 'moment' or having a dramatic climactic score going on in the background. It's about the person you love. As long as they are there, all the other stuff fades away. At the end of the day, it's really only them that can make your chest thrum like somebody's just plugged it with 1000 volts of electricity and that's exactly how Chloe made Beca feel.

She didn't care that they were in a dingy hallway that smelled faintly of beer and vomit, she didn't care that she could feel Chloe's tea slowly drying and becoming sticky on her skin, she didn't care that she'd just spent a ridiculous amount of money on a plain black coffe only to drop it on the floor so she could embrace Chloe, what Beca cared about was that she was holding Chloe, and the kiss?

This kiss could not be described because no words as yet created by the English language (or any known language really) seemed to parallel the state of raw emotion Beca found herself in now. It was good though…yeah, it was definitely good. It had taken a long time to get to this point but some things…some things are worth the wait. They are made all the more special by the difficulties you had to get through to get them. The extra mile you forced yourself to go lets you know how much you wanted that thing in the first place.

If it was easy to attain then you never would have known how much you needed it. Beca knew how much she needed it now. She felt something in her shift standing there in that hallway, something she thought had died a long time ago…and it was all because of Chloe. It hadn't been easy, but Beca was finally on her way to believing in something she'd dismissed as fiction at age thirteen.

It felt good.

It felt even better as Chloe took her hand and began tugging her down the hall.

"Where are we going?"

"By my count, you owe me about a year's worth of sex and I intend to collect on every single day missed."

"Oh…awesome."


End file.
